[Bloth]

New dlc's ideas, because EA, Activision and all the other publishers aren't pounding us hard enough yet:

Enable left mouse button = $5.
Enable right mouse button = $5.
Enable all mouse button and wheels = $25.
Enable W,A,S & D buttons = $5.
Enable total keyboard = $25.
Enable key rebinding = $10.
Buy 5 save slots = $5.
Buy unlimited save slots = $25.

Remember only you can build that executives golden toilet, and keep those $50 bills warmed to room temperature for the purpose of cleaning his buttocks on! This is no laughing matter, so think hard and give us your best ideas NOW.

[Wichat]

Save our BIG PUBLISHER FAMILY!!!!






Enable Screen Cleaner for Higher Resolution $10

[the Fixer]

And if you preorder, you can use the spacebar FOR FREE! Preorder now!



If you don't, hand over five more bucks.

[guipit]

Spread your buttcheeks!

I was going to buy Metro Last Light but now I'm doubting.

[Csàszàr]

What about the ability to load the game up and jump in? Priceless? Nah screw that, 10 bucks.

When I first saw this I thought it was about possible witcher dlc until I sawbthe author was the almighty Bloth. Then I realised this was a, "oh Bloth has decided to make me laugh post". Job well done.

[sn00p]

Increase Bloom and MotionBlur 9.99$

[slimgrin]

Enable voice overs - $10

Enable romance options - $5 each, $10 for switch hitters

Save points - $2 per level

Localization - $20 (Square Enix actully did this with the Japanese localization for Tomb Raider)

Access to exclusive dungeons - $10, season pass - $25

Grid inventory - $5

[Agbeth]

Game activation 10$

I'll leave it here

[Bloth]

Access to forums = $10.
Access to forum avatars = $1 each.
Access to pony forum avatars = $5 each.
Forum signatures = $1/word.
Selling/losing your personal information to third party sources = $25.

[guipit]

>What why isn't the blood turned on?
>Turn on Blood in options

To access this content you need to purchase the Maturity DLC in order to prove you're actually an adult please enter your credit card number and PIN.

[Wut the Melon]

Framerate over 30 FPS enabled = how many FPS you want in USD. Or your local currency unequivalent (1 USD = 1 Euro = 1 GBP = 2 AUD). Maths is hard.

[Mataresa]

wasn't there an online game where you had to pay for your ammunition? So you would basically be shooting with money? I seem to remember something like that.

[FoggyFishburne]

Haha oh shit, I got myself a good giggle from this thread

It's funny because it could actually happen. The ex-CEO of EA wanted to incorporate a feature in shooters where when you run out of bullets, you could pay a dollar and get a new mag. Sooooo yeah. We're all laughing and having a good fucking time right now but I'm absolutely terrified that the business morons are actually debating whether or not they should implement the features that we're jokingly listing for comedic effect.

Regardless, great thread. Got a good laugh from it

[jfprovata]

Harvest Ingredients- $1 per ingredient
Mix a potion- $1 per potion
Drink a potion- $1 per potion
Price is reduced to 50 cents if you meditate beforehand

Upgrade Witcher Signs-$1 for level II, $2 for level III, per sign

Unlock Witcher Silver Sword-$5

[Yellow®]

am afreid EA will read this and actually think they are legit sugestions...

[Mataresa]

Starcraft 3: The new minerals are dollars.

Well you already paid to cheat in Dead Space 3 in the shop to get crafting materials and stuff.

[Red0oG]

You guys are gonna love this game

(Its a parody you dont really pay anything)

[gregski]

Switch to a higher resolution = 5$ each (starting from 640x480)

[Mataresa]

gregski said:

Switch to a higher resolution = 5$ each (starting from 640x480) ›››

Reminds me of Telekom Germanys plan to cut down on internet speed after you used up your volume. Then you will only be able to watch YouTube in 155p without loading times. ^^

[Umair2012]

Yes = 1 vote.? John Rechitello is that you .?