[Bloth]

Thought it'd be nice to have a little ribbing after all the serious discussion, watched from Dusk 'til Dawn the other day and the pussy speech got locked in my head.

[Pangaea]

"Allright. You've had your speech. What is your last wish? In front of you is a selection of guns and various sharp tools..."

[dragonbird]

Bloth, you are an evil man. If you were a romanceable character in a video game, I'd definitely select you. Or the dog.

[Ward Dragon]

dragonbird said:

Bloth, you are an evil man. If you were a romanceable character in a video game, I'd definitely select you. Or the dog. ›››

Well, they did have a romanceable cat in Kotor

[dragonbird]

Memo to self: Must play KOTOR sometime.

[Bloth]

"Or the dog." I find this comparison insulting, so much so I spat out the bone I was chewing on, and got up from my place in front of the fire. To be honest I almost sicked up the water i'd lapped up from my bowl earlier, but my gag response is very dulled from years of chomping on my own arse.

I'd write out a long and scathing response, but the fleas are eating me alive and I need a good scratch, so i'll just say. "Woof."

Second thoughts, I see what you mean.

[KnightofPhoenix]

Ward Dragon said:

Well, they did have a romanceable cat in Kotor /> ›››

Juhani was an interesting character.

[Bloth]

In other news a Mr Ahab has issued a full apology to the severely injured "games journalist" Jim Sterling, who was grievously wounded by a thrown harpoon while paddling in the balmy waters of the Carib. The ship captains states that this is purely a case of mistaken identity and an honest accident, citing the strange high pitched voice, gargantuan white blubberous bulk and vicious demeanour of Mr Sterling as being easily confused with his erstwhile prey, a leviathan named Moby Dick.

Luckily the three yard long harpoon inflicted only a minor flesh wound and did not penetrate any of Mr Sterlings vital organs, he remains comfortable and stable in hospital, his only statement so far being the following. "Awooo-aaa-loooo-awoooooooooooooo." Translators have been working throughout the night and have come up with the following: "This is like totally a symptom of patriarchy, every time I go sunbathing somebody tries to roll me into the sea, and it's clear now that their purpose was nefarious. The patriarchy embodied by such titanic entities as EA are trying to kill me and therefore silence my castrati squeakings, Captain Ahab is a hired assassin."

In this reporters opinion I think we've got to apply a lot of weight (snigger) to Mr Sterlings accusation, and respect the enormous gravity (haha) of his position. There's a lot of gossip going round (hehe) but one must acknowledge that the gentleman is very prominent (guffaw) in his sphere (stop you're killing me) of influence, and whatever the investigations outcome, we should not just blindly eat up (hoho) the statements released. That said we also should not scoff (hurhur) at the laws judgement, and respect Mr Ahabs right to make his stand on the scales (oh I get it) of justice, and find out whether the heavy burden (bit of a stretch) of guilt or the relief of innocence will descend on his shoulders.

This is Dirk Thrustington for Future News, bringing you the low down on the high brow. Give us a moment of your time and we'll condense ten thousand years of history into politically correct soundbites.